The Path

How do you envision relationship with God? We all have different images and ideas. Some are good and some like mine for a long time were anything but good.

Many years ago when I had a dramatic "Born Again" experience there was a term that was used frequently in those days. New converts said that they were walking with the Lord. I am sure that has a lot to do today with how I view God.

I view my life as a path. Picture a huge forest with magnificent trees, plants, and the natural floor of the forest. Next picture a clear winding path through those woods.

This is my most visual image of relationship with my Father. I see us walking easily and firmly on the path. We are talking and he is holding my hand much like a Daddy would a small child. I choose at times when the path is less clear to wander off the path. Does he punish me or is he angry when I stray? No. Absolutely not. He waits patiently for me to return to our walk together. Does this mean he  pulled his spirit from living in me because I strayed off the path? No, not even for a moment.

These times when I should just rest where I am with him but choose not to and go it alone under the power of my own steam are when I feel disconnect. As I navigate through the brush and find my way back to the trail he is waiting graciously with hand held out ready to resume our walk together.

The path means a great deal to me. Most of my life I had both feet defiantly outside the path determined to seek the things I thought were important. Other times I tried to walk one foot on the path and one foot off. The path no longer smooth I stumble as the terrain is rough.

God knows even in my darkest days I refuse to be anything but honest with him. What's the point? Can any of us deceive God? So when I was angry with him as I spend several decades being just that I told him exactly how I felt.

Now I say, Lord I want to walk with both feet on your path, holding your hand, and when I stray gently lead me back. I have no desire to be off the path whether it's with two feet or even one. I have all I need with so much more to come when I walk hand in hand, down this path of life with you by my side.

That is my image. What's yours?

Ugliness Of A Fast Paced World

We have all stuck our foot in our mouth at various times. Some more than others. Some intentionally and some not. Some of us recognize when we have done it and some don't have a clue because honest introspection is not their strong suit.

I enjoy many aspects of technology but at the same time it allows an avenue to speak to many without having time to reflect on what we are saying.  There is also a record of it that remains forever. Make a foolish mistake today and it may well be on You Tube 20 years from now.
  
That is bad enough but then there are people who live to be ugly. Read an article in a newspaper like USA Today and then scroll down to the comment section. Things that are not even political become just that. Both sides so certain that they are right with no room for error in their opinions. 

Recently former president George Bush underwent a heart procedure and of course it was in all the papers. The curiosity got to me. Sure enough among the well wishes were the vicious ugly comments. One person wrote that the alcohol and cocaine had caught up with him. The person seemed quite happy to gloat about the health concerns of another.

Joseph Prince in his book, "Destined to Reign," wrote, "Today, people don't throw stones, they shoot poison emails. Amen.

What about sports, which I also enjoy? The ugly vicious things said about people on the other team that we do not like. Do we forget that they are someones child, brother, sister, spouse, or friend?

Several years ago a prominent coach fainted during a game. Later I heard a well educated professional that rooted against that team admit that in a conversation with a friend that one of them said, "Tell the truth. Didn't you hope that he did not get up again?"


James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

Lord help me to do what James said in all circumstances, even when people view things differently then I do.

Praying for Closed Doors?

It was early last year when after decades of wanting God's favor without my willingness to follow the path that only He has laid out that I surrendered fully. I did not run up a church aisle, or shout from the rooftop. I was driving down the road and I simply said, "God, I have made a mess out of my life. Please you take the wheel."

We are called to be humble lovers of God and people but a valuable lesson that I have learned is that it is okay to pat myself on the back.

Maybe the most encouraging thing for me personally is to at times not even recognize the man I once was. Now please understand I have miles of growing to do. I have not arrived. But a situation will arise and my prospective is so different than what it once was that I can't help but quietly say, "Thank you God for not giving up on me."

Recently I read The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson and the one part that resonated with me the most was when he wrote about not only prayer for open doors but closed ones as well. Sometimes we want a door opened so badly that we want what we want and we ask God to grant it to us. What if that is not the door God wants opened? Most of my life I would have said well let me have it anyway and I will catch up with you later.

I have a dream that I have chased on and off for several years. There was a time it was my idol. It was that important. It was not a bad dream or something evil. It was just an accomplishment that I somehow felt I needed to be fulfilled in my life here this side of the veil. Now while nothing is concrete someone has expressed an interest in possibly making this dream come true.

And I truthfully say, "God if this is not a door we are walking through together then please close it."

And the Father I have come to know joins me with a little loving pat upon my back.

I am my Mother's child.

The two great spiritual mentors in my life have been my mom and Horace Hilton. They both left for their final journey with the sunrise.They were both heroes to me.

I could have asked for no more from God on my final day with Mom this side of the veil. My wife Julie sang "Blessed Assurance" to her and early that morning my eyes were directed to a scripture that I read to her.

2 Timothy 4

⁶ For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. ⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸ Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.

I thanked her for many things and I promised her that I would not stray again from the path our God has called me too. 

My spirit sensed that this would be the last time for us this side of the veil. I shared many things with her and I believed that even with one foot out of this life she could hear me. 

The last thing I recall saying with more pride than I can explain was..."I am my mother's child."

Micah's Mimi

As Mom is scheduled to be moved to Hospice today I recalled her move from assisted living to the dementia unit in the fall of 2011. My son Micah came home to assist in that move. Later when he returned to Raleigh he wrote the following letter regarding his "Mimi."

Dad,
Got a little emotional about Mimi today.  You know, yesterday I was distracted by the headache and when it comes to Mimi these days I've really put up a guard, not emotionally toward her, of course, but I have to be guarded walking into that place, or else it'd just eat me alive.  It's hard to see her there and not only her but to see all the other "Mimi's" in the room as well.  I can hardly stand to keep my eyes off the ground.

But, God comforted me today by reminding me of the good.  Of all the prayers and support Mimi offered to so many people over so many years.  So many turned to her for her grace, her faith and her love.  And while, today, she's not what she once was, I thought back to yesterday and Tiffany and the other nurse who talked so fondly of Mimi.  Even in the darkness and despair of this illness, Mimi is still touching lives with the same grace that attracted so many to her.  We both know well by now that God's timing is not of our own, it's hard for us not to question this situation, but it was very evident to me that our Almighty is still doing His work through her and for that I am grateful.

When she looked at me and told me she loved me yesterday, it was one of the most beautiful things I could have ever asked for.  Our God is merciful and gracious--slow to anger, abounding in love.  And now, as she enters her last days, we are called to pick up the torch and lead by her example in our lives.  She has taught me everything I know about grace, dignity and kindness.

I love you.

Micah

BORN AGAIN

Is it just me or is the term Born Again used less frequently these days? I was part of that Born Again movement of the 70's when it seemed the Spirit was calling people to redemption at a higher rate, and calling many of those like myself that even church people had little hope for. 

How important is it to have a true Born Again experience and just what is it to be Born Again? Jesus said, "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are Born Again." John 3:3. It appears that it was very important to Jesus. What is it? It is a supernatural experience that can't be found by simply being religious. You can go to church every week. You can read the Bible six hours daily, tithe half your income...be an outstanding person who people look to as good and righteous, and not be Born Again.  

The best example of someone being Born Again for me is my mother. She was fifty three years old. She rarely missed church. She taught Sunday School and served on various committees through the years. She read her Bible and prayed daily. A faithful wife and mother, and to nearly everyone a good person who lived an extremely moral life.

March 20, 1975 I am led away from our home by six narcotic officers. As I was escorted out my mom was seated at the dining table wailing in the most awful torrent of tears you can imagine. She kept repeating, "Why...Why God..Oh why?

I can't recall if it was the next day or several days later. I was stumbling in my own lost world and wondering if I would be leaving freedom for incarceration. But later she would explain the supernatural event she experienced that changed her forever. She was on her knees by her bed crying and asking God repeatedly why. And then she heard his voice. "Bring all your burdens to Calvary." In that moment my mom changed from being a good church going woman to experiencing the supernatural. She was Born Again. Many like me experience this and fall away but not my mom. She loved more and judged less. She admitted difficult things about herself. She often told me, "I was too prideful. I thought I was better than others."

Maybe the most poignant thing I recall her saying was, "I taught Sunday School. I went to church. I served on committees but I had no idea who Jesus Christ really was." I believe my mom was a good believing woman on her way to Heaven but she discovered an intimacy with her father that she had never known previously.

As it turned out I did not go to prison. A year and a half later I would have my Born Again experience. A voice that called to me as I walked down a road with no destination. 

"Come and admit you are wrong. Come and sing my glorious song."

So is being Born Again important? I believe so.

Gotta Serve Somebody

Many years ago I had a dramatic Damascus Road experience.  A whisper from God one night on a long dark road changed everything in the blink of an eye. I handled being Born Again poorly and made many foolish decisions as well as offending nearly everyone I came in contact with. 

Looking back, I can find one tidbit of wisdom that came to me. I told someone that the Bible speaks constantly of light and dark, but nowhere could I find where we walked in twilight. Many years later when I fell away in anger at my belief that God had failed me I tried to forget all this and think I could walk down the middle of the road.  

Isn't that the lie that we are sold? We are good enough. We go to church enough. We occasionally help our neighbor. It is fine that we do things wrong that society tells us is no problem today. Aw the Bible..that was for back then.. A flawed account written by men. 

Recently I thought about Bob Dylan and his Born Again time. I don't know where Bob is these days spiritually and it is not my business. That is between he and God. I do strongly believe he saw the light and the darkness. Remember the album Slow Train Coming? There were constant references to how he had been deceived by the darkness and embraced the light. And while it may have been far from his best song. The song Gotta Serve Somebody is as true a song as I think he can write. 

But in our society today with the exception of those who willfully embrace evil we don't want to think we walk in darkness because if we are then who is the king of that darkness? Who are we serving? 

This is not about seeing the devil behind every door. He is far more subtle than that. He is more devious with a wink than a sledgehammer. It also is not about being religious because that is its own form of lost. Remember the Pharisees when Jesus walked the earth?

You may be a preacher with your spiritual pride.

 You may be a city councilman takin' bribes on the side.

  You may be workin' in a barbershop, you may know how to cut hair.

  You may be somebody's mistress, may be somebody's heir
But you're gonna have to serve somebody Yes you're gonna have to serve somebody Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord But you're gonna have to serve somebody.