Tuesday, January 24, 2017

My Regrets

Have you ever met someone that stated boldly that they have no regrets? It sounds good to say that but do you believe it? I don't. Oh, I get the thing about experiences shaping us & how we learn from our mistakes. All of that is true. But I made some ill fated choices that hurt people. Am I forgiven by them, by God? Yes. Do I regret the pain I inflicted? Yes!

Turning 60 has brought so much to light. Don't get me wrong. I believe my best days with God are in front of me. I hope one day to look back 20 years from now & say, "Wow, God. What a journey. The final chapter of my life was the greatest." My prayer is that I will be a living example of the scripture. Corinthians 1:27.

But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;

My regret today is that I hung on to what I wanted-what I thought I needed & despite a dramatic Born Again experience at the age of 19 I never really let go of the wheel of this life & placed God above all else. I was always holding on to something. My hopes, my dreams...for many years even holding on to my anger toward Him. My disappointment in Him. 

I marvel at people at Lifepoint Church who are decades younger than me. They are so sold out for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. A young couple we know scrapping it all to go into the mission field in a far away country. Leaving behind all the comforts of home. A young man who has befriended a homeless man & devotes his time to helping him be clean, offering him encouragement...hope..friendship.  So many examples. They humble me.

First above all. Not a relationship you cling too that you know you need to let go of. Not religious practices that grant temporary comfort but not real relationship. Not money, things. If only I had this or that. First let me get this. I was the poster child for that line of thinking. No...First....surrender...

I only wish I would have started sooner.